Why I had to sell all of my high Heels
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Why I had to sell all my High Heels
As a little girl, I had often worn my mum’s heels tottering around on the carpet. As I got older I indulged in my passion for heels. They helped make you feel sexy and confident, made your legs look longer and whatever dress size you are, they always fit you. We are, as a nation obsessed by them. So was I. But I chose to sell all of my prized collection for charity. So as I wrapped up my last pair, purple, sparkly leopard print, peep toes, which were off to Bosnia. I felt really proud of what I had achieved after all I had been through. They were better on someone else’s feet rather than sat in my wardrobe getting dusty. I now have to use a walking stick, so it’s not a wise choice to wear them anymore.
On April 12th 2006 I got shingles. It first appeared on my neck, but days later the blisters then emerged on the shins. ‘Very unusual’ was the response from my doctor.
‘Do you have a photo?’ he asked, doubting me. I had returned to see him as I was having problems walking. I started off fine, but after a short time, my leg would go numb and it would take me twice as long to lift it compared to my left leg. He asked me to do some tests, lying down on his couch, which involved moving my toes in a certain order, apparently I did not do very well at this and he sent me for some tests.
I went to see a Neurologist who diagnosed me with C.F.S/M.E. Next I went to hospital to have Evoked Potentials done. I had to sit in front of a checkerboard screen that moved whilst having electrodes put on my head and the results monitored. They also put an electrode on my big toe and sent a small electric shock up my leg and took note of the results from this. Everything was fine, but a strange result showed a nerve problem with my left leg.
Next an MRI scan on both my brain and neck. I was hopeful they would find something that was causing my problems as they seemed to be worsening. All of these tests take time and months were going on by, but at least they were trying to get to the bottom of the problem.
Finally when they were all completed I went back to my G.P. who had experience in Neurological disorders.
‘Well what do you think is wrong with you?’ he asked me sternly.
I was alarmed by his tone. ‘I don’t know I replied despairingly ‘all I want is to be back to how I was before I had shingles’.
‘Well you don’t want to go on Incapacity benefit do you?’ he asked.
‘No of course not, I just want to be well’ I answered feeling very confused.
So frustratingly, I did not get an answer to my problems that I had been experiencing for the past 6 months. He thrust a back to work note to me.
‘Just get back to work and see how you get on’ he said hurriedly
The reason for not working, written on my return to work form was Post Viral Fatigue Syndrome. I did not understand what that meant at that point in time.
Time to make some serious decisions in my life, as I had been given the all clear to go back to work. I chose not to go back to the stressful high street bank I had previously worked for as I thought this was the reason I had caught shingles, so I phoned my boss and handed in my resignation. I opted to join a large high street retailer, whom I had been employed by before my job in the bank. So off I went to my new job, still limping and struggling but determined to put the last six months behind me.
Three months later I was faced with my temporary contract coming to an end and no job available for me to carry on, so I was unemployed. I was gutted, but I tried to continue improving my health. Whilst looking for a job, I joined Slimming World and lost over a stone, this was the weight I had gained whilst being ill. I felt much healthier and my walking improved. Things were looking up.
In April 2007 I started a new job in a high street Travel Agent in my local town. I was hoping that it would be a turning point in my life and I could finally put my illness behind me.
Things started to go wrong after a few months; I was trying really hard to learn all of the new information that was required of me for my position. My short term memory was atrocious and it became a bit of a standing joke, as I had to write everything down into a little book. Months passed and my symptoms got worse. My leg began
swelling up, after sitting at my desk for long periods. I began to have migraines and got my words all mixed up. All symptoms of M.E. but no-one wanted to help me and things got so bad I couldn’t face going to work. I was teetering on the edge of having a nervous breakdown. May 2008 and I was in such a state, I could not contemplate working.
Returning to my doctor, who now was calling me, ‘over anxious’. He finally sent me to see an Orthopaedic surgeon. He thought my problems with my leg were coming from my back, but he dismissed my ask for help with my M.E., getting me out of the door as quickly as possible.
I chose never to return to see him again. After taking advice from my friends, I changed my doctor to a new one at another surgery. This was one of the best things I ever did.
In June 2008 I went to see an Orthopaedic surgeon and he asked me to have an X-Ray and another M.R.I scan of my lower back. This showed narrowing of my lower spine in regions L4 and L5. He advised an epidural which I had in late August 2008, but it was unsuccessful, just triggering a bout of my M.E. headaches. So as time went on my walking deteriorated so badly, that after seeing my new doctor he
advised me to start walking with a walking stick. This affected my confidence and self esteem severely. People stared and life became really depressing.
In October 2008, and after discussing the options with my surgeon, I decided to go ahead with Spinal Decompression surgery, drilling back open the space in my vertebrae relieving the pressure on my sciatic nerve.
After a really long and anxious wait, I went ahead with the surgery at my local hospital in January 2009. It was very painful and I lost the strength in my right leg, not being able to get up the stairs or even get in the car. A few months later, I fell in the kitchen fracturing my sacrum which set me back a bit. But with the help of my physiotherapist I managed to walk without my stick, just short distances, now I was walking with my head held up high.
In June 2009 I started a management programme for my M.E. /CFS, which my new doctor had referred me for. I have progressed really well and decided that it was time to give something back to those people that had helped me along my rocky road of life recently. I couldn’t do marathons or many other physical charity fundraising ideas so I came up with my own. I asked as many people as possible to donate their shoes for me to sell on Ebay. My local M.P donated his shoes that had walked the corridors of Westminster. Alongside a couple of celebrity photos and my own precious collection, I managed to sell them all slowly but surely.
Now writing is my passion and life is not about what I cannot do, it’s about what I can do. I attend my local M.E support group regularly and do Pilates gym classes to help with my ongoing back problem. Who knows what the future will bring, but I am glad to have learnt not to take things for granted and enjoy each day whatever it brings.